Animal Super Bowl

Animal Super Bowl

During the Super Bowl, there was another football game of note between the big animals and the little animals. The big animals were crushing little animals and at half-time, the coach made a passionate speech to rally the little animals.



At the start of the second half the big animals had the ball. The first play, the elephant got stopped for no gain. The second play, the rhino was stopped for no gain. On third down, the hippo was thrown for a 5 yard loss.



The defense huddled around the coach and he asked excitedly, "Who stopped the elephant?"



"I did," said the centipede.



"Who stopped the rhino?"



"Uh, that was me too," said the centipede.



"And how about the hippo? Who hit him for a 5 yard loss?"



"Well, that was me as well," said the centipede.



"So where were you during the first half?" demanded the coach.



"Well," said the centipede, "I was having my ankles taped."

You Know You're in Texas When...

- The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

- The trees are whistling for the dogs.

- The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

- Hot water now comes out of both taps.

- You can make sun tea instantly.

- You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

- The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.

- You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.

- You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

- You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

- You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

- Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

- You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

- The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

- Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

- The cows are giving evaporated milk.